When I came upstairs to write earlier today, I thought I was going to write about a lyric I love. I was singing it while I was making breakfast this morning and like every other time I’ve sung it, I thought, so right, Sly, so right. It’s from Sly Stone’s “Everyday People” and I love the line because it’s true, and not just true, but irrefutable: We got to live together. There’s no choice, so why not live carefully and consciously with one another? Harder to do than say, but I like the message.
Instead of writing when I got to my desk, though, I started fussing with a collage I started over the weekend. I was procrastinating. Writing anything worthwhile felt impossible. It’s five hours later now and I need to write here so I feel connected.
The collage I worked on today is not my favorite, but I like it because it’s been a while since I made anything, and I’m always re-vitalized when I make something new. Most of the time I just start gluing random cuts of paper together until whatever I’ve glued-up looks finished, but as soon as I put the big circle in the top left corner of this new one, I thought of a song I wrote last year called “What If.” I tried to make the collage work for the song, and that’s probably why it’s not my favorite. Trying has never worked for me when it comes to creating something. I’m happier when I just play.
But I don’t feel playful. I don’t feel sad exactly, but I’m thinking about my mom and dad most of the time, wondering how they’re doing. It’s the backdrop for everything these days. Dad is holding up, of course, doing what he can to keep Mom comfortable and engaged. We’re both reading a lot. I’ve read three books this week. Two that were mindless and pulled me into other worlds for hours at a time: James Patterson’s newest mystery, Alex Cross Must Die (a title I don’t understand since there’s never any sense that Alex Cross has to die in the story), Richard Osman’s, The Thursday Murder Club (first in a series and especially fun to read if you’re “older”), and Ellen Langer’s The Mindful Body, which was like doing homework, but homework worth doing. Anyway, the point is, I’ve been distracting myself. It’s difficult to write today, but I needed to thank you for all your good wishes. I’m heading east again this week, looking forward to celebrating my mom’s 95th birthday with her and the rest of my family.
Love,
Bar
What If What if the light of a million stars Lit up the night showed you were you are What if the rainfall on an empty stream Fed the seeds of a hidden dream We’re sailing on a sea Searching for a breeze Reaching for the land we need What if the tides and the moon above Pulled on your heart to another love What if the light of a single star Lit up your night showed you where you are
Here’s a version of Sly Stone’s “Everyday People” I recorded almost twenty years ago. Sam Zucchini’s on drums, Tony Levin’s singing the bass line, Callie Hershey and Jen Starr are singing B Vocals, and I’m singing the melody. Haven’t heard this in a long time. Sure makes me smile to hear it again.
I think we are all (all of us everyday people) are distracted, but your voice and the "Everyday People" lyrics are comforting: we are not alone! xo
I think your collage is very beautiful! It seems very YOU. And it’s wonderful to hear your voice. I sympathize deeply with finding it hard to write. Some months ago, I started on a new project that’s deeply personal. I know the territory it will cover and am intimidated by it. Working on this piece brings up familiar mean voices (what makes you think you can do this!) but I’ve also set myself a challenge that involves an approach new to me. It’s been hard. I’ve given myself time away from it, though it’s not let go and language runs through me more or less constantly. Today, I’ve decided to sit down at the computer for no more than two hours. I’ll do this every day for awhile, eventually something will rise from it. It’ll be interesting to see what that is. Keep being your beautiful self, sharing your beautiful work!